More of My Crap

I think I’m finally starting to get back to normal. I’ve often been told that I was creative, imaginative, and funny. Of course my sense of humor is usually a little out there.
My mom did not teach me about being a lady. She did not use makeup or dress stylishly. She never worried about her hair being styled. She was a country born, farm grown girl. That’s the way she raised me. She also never taught me that a female does not “toot”. That’s the polite way of saying it. I never heard that word until about 5 years ago when a little boy I know was in daycare. He told his caregiver, “I farted” and she told us that the word to use was “tooted”. OK.
About 3 years ago, a friend was telling me about a guy she was dating. She had excused herself and when she came back out he asked what took so long. When she told him, he did not believe her. His parents had told him that women don’t do that.
Back to my mom. She is a voracious tooter and of all the things I get from her…..you guessed it. Maybe that’s why I spend so much time alone.  Don’t ever go to the store with me. I like to save the silent but deadly ones for then. Then, you stand there with everyone else trying to figure out where the smell came from.
If this has offended you, crap happens. Don’t sweat the small stuff, find something to laugh about.

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