Fat or More to Love

I was reading another bloggers post about this article in Cosmopolitan on “What being a fat woman is really like”. She urged other fat bloggers to try the questions also. Normally, this is a subject I avoid, but this bloggers words caught my attention. What I really like is her motto, “Living With Fattitude”.

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How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?  That is something that has always angered me. In case you never thought about it, the women that complain about being or feeling fat, are not fat. You will never hear a fat woman, talking to her friends, say she is fat. Unless you are the fattest woman in hearing distance, and that could be an entire room. don’t call yourself fat.

How has your body image changed since high school? College?  I haven’t been smaller than a size 12 since puberty. Now at age 58, I have had 4 children and have added many pounds and inches. I had one husband call me fat at a size 14 and married the last one at a size 20, so I guess it really was in the eyes of the beholder.

Have you tried dieting? What happened?  Over the years I have tried many diets. Even now I still say I’m going on that proverbial diet. A year ago I was in a very stressful situation and gained 60 pounds. Now that the stress is gone from my life the weight is still there, but I’m no longer gaining. My doctor wants me on a diet.

Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?  I guess you could say it’s partly genetic. But a majority is stress related. When I get stressed, I eat. I admit that I am addicted to food. Once I start eating I don’t want to stop. Portion control is not in my vocabulary. I stopped smoking 18 months ago and I now have switched food for cigarettes.

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Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?  I think I would have to consider myself as unhealthy. I’m diabetic and just take my meds and continue eating as I want. I have asthma and weakened lungs from smoking, but my weight has made my breathing uncontrollable. Walking brings on asthma attacks, so I sit….and eat some more.

Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you’re at? Have they always been?  My mom has been very negative lately. She keeps calling me fat and saying negative things. My dad doesn’t mention it. I think it worries him because of the health aspect and the fact that he has lived with mom’s fat comments for many years.

How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?  I’m happy with my shift dresses and have never liked anything that clung to my body. Mass merchandiser, such as Wal-Mart, Target, etc. could find a way to carry a larger size of plus-size clothing. Many of us cannot afford to go to a specialty store.

Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How?  I think the main place you find women being treated differently is in relationships. The males are more likely to be hurtful when it comes to a spouse being overweight.

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Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?  Of course there is. Fat people are considered lazy, ugly and gluttonous. Cartoons show them waddling, and I have never seen the crack of a skinny man’s ass in pictures. I think a lot of stereotyping is caused by fat women trying to shove their size 24 ass into a size 16 pair of pants. I’ve had people tell me that if I lost some weight I wouldn’t have to wear my shift dresses all the time. My dresses are a choice. They are comfortable and cover me. You would not like the results without them.

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Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight?  I think that it is okay for a friend or family member to express concern as long as it healthy, respectful and caring. My mom did it the wrong way by just calling me fat. My roommate challenges me about portion control, with love and kindness.

 What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?  I been called fat, stupid and ugly. One ex told me that the reason I needed to stay with him was because I was so fat that no one else would want me.

How did you respond?  Generally I ignore those people. You notice I said ex.

What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?  My favorite compliment came from a 12 year old. I was told that I was not fat or ugly. I was just myself.

Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?  No, most of my friends are smaller than I am. I have all sizes of friends. I pick my friends based on how they treat me and interact with me, not on size, age or color.

How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?  Never has affected it. Have always been very active sexually, until recently. Now I’m taking a break, my choice.

When you’ve been single, has your weight affected your dating life?  Never affected mine. Have noticed in the last 10 years that men on dating sites are preferencing petite women. And some of them are far from petite.

Wow. This has sure been a mouthful and then some. I used to call myself ugly and fat, but  that is wrong. I’m beautiful, sexy and blessed with some amazing curves. There is much more of me to love and I have a heart as big as the state of Texas. I will not be remembered for my size, but for all the love and care you got from me. It’s time for me to celebrate the new me. The one that loves herself for what she is. Fat and beautiful. I’ve learned to “Live with Fattitude”.

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