Most people believe that life starts when you are born. I have decided that my life is just beginning. Before this I was just existing in a world others controlled as a daughter, sister, niece and cousin. Later I existed as a wife, mother, aunt, grandmother and greataunt. Let’s not forget sister-in-law and mother-in-law. I am slowly leaving all this behind. The only part that hurts is leaving my grandchildren behind, but they have parents that still control their world.
Because I decided to leave behind anyone that appeared to be causing me depression, anxiety and hatred of self, I was called stupid and was told I needed an attitude adjustment. Because I gained weight when I decided to stop smoking so I would be allowed to see my grandson, I was called fat and out of control. After watching said grandson for 6 months and gaining more weight because of the stress of worrying that I would say or do something to piss my daughter off, I had a female friend of 18 years, in her house without her permission. I have not watched him since and have only seen him once in the past 8 months.
Now I begin my life. I will not stress about what others think or say about me. I go where I want, when I want. My life now belongs to only me for the first time in 58 1/2 years. My dream is to move away from everyone. God is my support and my comfort. Next is my baby brother, Grant and his amazing girlfriend, Red. Thanks for being there for me. My life is waking up. Hope to see you as I continue on my journey.
My brain has come alive.